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January 29 Hot Chocolate?A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some very plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate. When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us. God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything that they have. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. And enjoy your hot chocolate. January 24 Forget Happy!!This post was inspired by a college friend, Superfantastic Lori. And this post. Read mine first ....
She mentions in her post the "happy" cows of California. Now first and foremost I could make a crack about that "hay" they're feeding the cows being the cause of said happiness ... but I will not. I will make the point ... the very profound and thought-provoking point that occurred to me while cooking dinner and doing dishes.
Who cares if they're "happy" cows ... Happy doesn't make me GOOD cheese.
GOOD cows make GOOD cheese.
HA! Take that silly California with your happy cows ... you can have and keep your happy cows ... sell them to McDonald's for all I care. We've got GOOD cows here inWI.
That's why WE are the Dairy LAND!!! January 22 thought I'd hear ... or readSitting at mom and dad's on Sunday, watching Amazing Race and the Packers/Giants game. And randomly, out of absolutely nowhere, my mom says to me
So, Did you hear about that giraffe that hung itself??
WHAT?!? Things are so bad in zoos that the giraffes are actually hanging themselves???
clearly not, but my mom didn't initially say that. she was talking about this, but it was highly amusing to picture a giraffe being so forlorn and depressed that it would actually hang itself ... reminded me of Eeyore. But then that assumes it is self-aware, which I don't assume. Mental picture is still kind of amusing.
Then I actually read the article and it says this:
He had been checked on at 4:30 a.m. and was fine, but at some point reached over his enclosure in the main exhibit space, stretched around a 90-degree angle and across a 6 1/2-foot span, and became caught in the rope.
ummmmmm, what?? 90 degree angle AND 6.5 foot span??? Maybe the giraffe actually was suicidal ...
And it says this: Keepers said they think the animal, which was 17 feet tall, may have used his tongue to grab the rope
yeah ... there ya have it folks ... what you have, I have no idea, but there it is. Makes me feel bad about being amused by the mental image and all .... January 20 thought I'd admit publiclyYou know you're sick and slightly depressed when you spend half of Saturday getting ready for a gathering to which no one shows up (which, surprisingly wasn't actually depressing nor unexpected since it is 0 degrees in Wisconsin) and the other half watching hours of Gilmore Girls Season 3 while drinking hot coffee and then hot tea to keep from hacking your brains out
only to be followed on Sunday by:
watching hours of Gimore Girls Season 3 while drinking hot coffee and debating the merits of showering since the only person you'll even see today is ... your mother, who loves you even if you smell stale. Oh, and skipping church in order to watch Gilmore Girls. Yep, that'd be a sign too.
Then knowing you're on the last disc of season 3 and thus feeling compelled to get on ebay and buy season 4. A replacement reward for the LOST Season 2 I couldn't seem to get. Gilmore is a MUCH better. Then finding a great deal, you go ahead and buy not only Season 4, but Season 5. My collection is almost complete!!!
Ok, my couch is calling ... as is the ba ba ba music on the menu screen of the dvd. And then, the minute you click "publish entry" to publish this sad state of affairs, you get a notification that the thing you just relisted on ebay SOLD!! And then as you're typing that you get another notification that they've already PAID!!!!! And suddenly a shower doesn't seem so daunting. And the $16 you might have had to pay out of your checking ot make up the difference for buying the two seasons of gilmore girls is more like ... $8ish. hmmmmmm
January 19 NBC 15 Desktop AlertIt's Saturday morning. I'm sitting at my computer eating my homemade oatmeal breakfast and THOROUGHLY enjoying my Chocolate Nirvana coffee. (My first sip was so good ... it actually made my eyes roll back in my head!! I could say more, I won't, I don't want to gross anyone out. Draw your own somewhat obvious conclusions.) I have NBC 15 Desktop Alert downloaded on my computers here and at work. It takes up less overall memory than the weather channel on AND it gives me local weather warnings. Tornado Warnings, Thunderstorm warnings etc. It snowed a little bit on Thursday, couple of inches at most, and dropped to 20ish degrees with -10 windchills yesterday and the whole weekend. (Have I mentioned how much hibernating is appealing in WI in winter???) It gave me warnings of the below freezing windchills and even the snow since it becomes a "Winter Weather Advisory." As if we're not actually aware that it is going to snow or that it is snowing, and therefore life is slightly more treacherous?!
My desktop temp tells me that right now it is -4 outside. Ummmm, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not going anywhere today if I can at all help it. I'm sitting here, catching up on a friend's blog that I haven't read in FOREVER and my computer dings at me. Indicating that a severe weather warning has been issued and is about to scroll across the bottom of my screen. And what goes across you ask?? Windchill warning?? NO! Winter Weather Advisory?? NOPE!!
FLOOD WARNING!!!
What the ... ??? FLOOD It is 4 below WITHOUT any wind and you think it's going to flood??? Umm, isn't the fact that it is more than 30 degrees BELOW the freezing mark enough to indicate that rivers etc shouldn't be flowing at all?? Aren't they ... FROZEN?! I'm confused ... and amused. Just totally blew me away that we have a flood warning, and, by the way, this is for Rock county ONLY, and it's 4 degrees.
Who knew?! January 17 Reason #319 why I can't seem to get a dateI had movies to take back that I think were actually already late, but I realized it too late last night. So, in spite of picking up a cold in the last 24 hours I decided to run them back tonight. I pull up in front of my local Family Video (LOOOOVe the Family Video) and park all goofy and cock-eyed because I'm only going to be there long enough to drop off two movies and go home. I go in, drop the movies in the slot and on my way out notice this car trying to figure out where to park. Observant as I may be, this doesn't signify anything to me. I get in my car and pull on my seatbelt and notice that the guy getting out of said car is fairly tall, fairly broad, good looking, wearing what appear to be some sort of workout pants that aren't zipped at the bottom so they bell a bit around his ankles which are tucked into what appear to be wrestling shoes. Got the mental image? Ok. He walks in front of my car to go into the store and .... ACTUALLY LOOKS RIGHT AT ME! And he even kinda smiled at me! This is an oddity for me.
Especially in a parking lot.
Especially when it is 19 freaking degrees below zero
and I am wearing a knit stocking cap and my giant lavender winter coat.
He even kinda smiled at me! I know!! Will wonders never cease?
Now here is the reason I can't get a date part. I put my car into gear, start to turn around in the parking lot and notice his decent-looking mid-size SUV. And I think to myself ....
How wrong is it, exactly, to want to hit his car JUST so he has to talk to me? January 14 Not to be glibBut something happened to me on Saturday, that I thought, immediately, I need to blog that. But, with the other recent developments, it almost felt disrespectful or sacreligious. So, not that I'm trying to be glib or downplay the sadness that will soon envelop the next day and a half or so ... I bring you another funny thought for today.
I needed to walk on Saturday. I planned a general route and took off. Walking .... walking .... walking. To complete the mental image for you, before I tell you the funny part ... I am wearing an xl LAVENDER winter coat, WITH a fur-lined hood ... and I believe a hat that looks much like this only in black and without the goofy flower. It's maybe 2 in the afternoon on a reasonably warm (for January in Wisconsin) beautiful, blue-skied day. And I'm almost home. I come to an intersection just down from my house where a car is stopped at a stop sign. An Olds Alero if you must know and an older-ish lady driving. I begin to cross the street, obviously heading towards her car and I hear this noise. I veer towards the back of the car and suddenly it dawns on me what the noise was ...
SHE LOCKED HER DOORS!!!!
ME! In my goofy hat and PURPLE winter coat ... what am I going to do, mug you? car jack you? in JANESVILLE??
Ha, wonders never will cease.
advance warning. Very possibly a deeply moving, and profound and very sad post to come tomorrow. Very possibly not. The visitation for my mom's friend is tomorrow. Oh, and I told my boss today at work about the visitation and funeral, only because I had told her around Christmas time that I might have needed a bit of time off if her friend passed then, and I said that I might be kinda touchy on Weds. She just pseudo-smiled sadly and said, "Ok, I'll try not to talk to you on Weds then." Like, sincerely, honestly was trying to be respectful. Just kinda threw me. Nice to know though. Ok, I'm off to bed. Long day tomorrow. January 12 Last UpdateMom called about 15 minutes ago to tell me that Melody passed. Melody's sister called mom and dad around 7 this morning and she was gone. Sister is having a very hard time, as is Melody's oldest son. He is married and has 2 kids. The other son is engaged. Melody's mom is still alive, and she has a brother, who came up from Indiana. Brother called one of the other gals in their card club and she called all the rest of Melody's friends, which was kinda nice for mom 'cause I don't think she could have called all their card club. She did call her own sisters already, because they've been acquainted with Melody for years. And, she's going to call my sister shortly. We have no idea what the arrangements will be, of course. I guess someone mentioned today being bittersweet for Melody's family especially since hte Packers are playing. Melody was a big fan though, so I hope that her kids and family will not feel guilty about enjoying the game.
Mom said the card club was over there last night and that the ladies were sitting in Melody's room reminiscing about Melody's boyfriends etc and how they never did like the one guy and Melody never knew they didn't like him. So then they called the men in and they all stood around her bed and ... MY MOM said a prayer. She said "Kristine, you'd be so proud of me ... I had all the men come in and we all stood around her bed and I asked if we could say a prayer and they all agreed. But then I didn't know what to say, so I just thanked God for giving her to us and for stuff like that and then we all said the Our Father." And I am proud, and I told her that. She said she wasn't even sure if Melody knew they were there but that she kinda felt like maybe the Card club needed to be there for them. Mom also said, like I said previously, that Melody was kinda ready to go; and today she said because Melody couldn't be like she wanted to be, that she was a go-er, always planning something and doing something and, clearly, she hasn't been able to do that for awhile. So, I am sure from her family and friends, and definitely from me, THANK YOU for all your prayers on her behalf and for her family. Although the answer wasn't a "Yes" to miraculous healing; I definitely don't think they went unheard nor unheeded. This loss is hitting me kinda hard. Almost surprising, but then not so much. I have an incredibly tender heart, I cry very easily, and I'm getting pretty close to my mom. Plus, I pretty much always cry about people dying ... even if it's just in a movie. I even catch myself praying for the dying person in movies ... and then I have to correct it because THEY'RE NOT REAL! So, then I say a prayer for anyone in a situation "like that."
Anyway, I've been pondering some options and choices over the last week or so. And this loss has kind of solidified an idea/goal in my mind. I believe I told you that my day j-o-b is no longer getting any more than the 8 hours they pay me for. I met someone this week who said she got to a point in her career where she realized "I am done building other people's dreams. It's time to start building mine." And that's stuck with me. Why, exactly, am I expending so much time and energy building someone else's dreams AND they haven't show the least bit of loyalty towards their team? Not sure exactly how this will all pan out nor where I'll go and the exact choices I'll make, but I am absolutely unequivocally sticking to my 8 hours a day decision.
At my old job I drove past all sorts of little shops and "opportunities" and I was dreaming DAILY about the things I would do in those shops and opportunities. With this new job I live too close (
 ) to really see opportunities like that. Without realizing it, I stopped dreaming. In my heart of hearts, that's what I am, a Dreamer. I get ideas and plans to implement those ideas and I ponder them and consider them and toy with them, much like Myra from Looney Tunes Babies. And, generally, the idea gets old or something else comes along and I leave the old dream behind and move on to a new one. I'm ok with this. BUT, when I stop dreaming, apparently, I start getting hopeless and depressed. I hadn't realized that before. So, 2008 is MY year to start dreaming again. To start pusuing MY life's goals and ambitions and highest dreams, not someone else's.
Cheers to me. January 10 Update on Melody :(I talked to my mom tonight. Apparently, in the last 24 hours melody took a very sudden and very bad turn for the worse. Her son called my mom around 11 this morning crying so hard he could barely speak. He was trying to tell my mom that their card club maybe shouldn't come over Friday night because Mel was having such a hard time. She has begun to have some bad pain through one of her shoulders and they had to call Hospice to get her back on morphine as well as to have them increase her oxygen since she was having a very hard time catching her breath. Once my mom called the card club to tell them, most of them descended upon the house right away. At one point Melody opened her eyes (after finally getting relaxed enough to doze off) and said "Amazing." My mom asked what was amazing and she said having so many people there was amazing to her. At one point this afternoon my mom got her chance to say the things she needed to say, what a good friend melody has been and how much she's appreciated her and how much she'll miss her etc. So, mom is feeling just barely ok with it. Melody told mom (i think) that she is ready, she wasn't before but now she is. And mom heard her ask the hospice nurse at one point "how long?" I believe Melody's brother and family are on their way up, or possibly already here from Fort Wayne, Indiana. My mom said a couple times tonight that "it could be hours, it could be days." So, pray as you see fit. I'm still hoping for a miracle. And the vigil begins.
That's what I emailed my prayer warriors. Here, I'm going to add more. The Friday before New Year's two co-workers were permanently laid off. You can imagine the stress level this created in our office. Today was the first day that I wasn't plagued by a constant tension headache because of the level of anger I'm carrying around. I've tried to remind myself of Melody a few times since the lay off and, honestly, every time I put on my face creams at night I think of her. Tonight after I talked to my mom I was changing my clothes out of my workout clothes and I thought to myself "It doesn't matter if I work out and get a 'hard bod' or not, it may not make any difference in the end ... and all the working out in the world won't save my mom's friend. Somehow I have to have an epiphany or some major revelation about the fact that the job is just that A JOB! Nothing more, nothing less. Not for me, not at this company. I didn't go to school for this, I didn't spend thousands of dollars training for this. I'M A RECEPTIONIST. My "Life" is elsewhere. My LIFE is my friend Michelle, who is moving to Florida in the next few weeks who is possibly going to GIVE me some of her stuff so he doesn't have to move it. My LIFE is spending Sunday nights and Thursday nights with my mom talking, catching up on the week and watching Amazing Race and Survivor. My LIFE is having my friend Kari and her 3 (YES 3) kids over to my house today for lunch, getting to see their innocent smiling faces and forgetting entirely how much stress has become wrapped up in having health insurance. My LIFE is taking picture after picture after picture of Baby Colby, the child of 1,000 faces. My LIFE is capturing the beauty of God's handiwork in the world around me, hopefully to be put on display to be shared with others. My LIFE is so far beyond "more" than being a RECEPTIONIST that I am not even fully capable of trying to explain it. My LIFE is making my friends laugh and knowing that the smile on their face is because I told a story at my own expense ... BUT IT WAS FUNNY! Savor the moments ... every moment you get. It sounds SOOOOOOO cliche, but, truly, don't take a single person or occasion or moment for granted. Hug the ones you love ... January 04 Miss Me BabyI heard this song on Soft Country on Yahoo Launchcast Music today. No you don't have to listen to all of it ... just get to the chorus
And, even though I KNOW the song is about something else entirely, I always think of this scene from Sweet Home Alabama
Just cracks me up every time ... and, as always, I wanted to share!! |
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