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November 29 When I work best . . . Saw this today, thought you should know. This is how I tend to work best. Many people don't understand this, even my boss. Oh, well. Their loss of my potential productivity. Can stress actually be good for you? - Stressed Out - MSNBC.com Key word, SMALL DOSES. November 28 The 12 Days of ChristmasSo, it now costs $18,000 to give your sweetheart all the gifts in the 12 days of Christmas. Over half the things cost more than 5 golden rings. WOW
Go check it out yourself! click here.
Tip #1 for the HolidaysJust a random tip for this season of Holiday Lights:
Do not park across the street from a significant display!!
I almost clipped a car coming home tonight because it was parked directly across the street from a large display. I was so intent upon trying to see the display that I didn't realize i was almost too close to the mirrors. Quite a sigh of relief when i made it around the car, but I immediately thought of the usefulness this knowledge would be to the rest of the world.
Do you have any tips to share? November 27 GMAC Driver's Test - Funny but no jokeMy sister sent me this. At first I thought it would kind of be a joke, but it's not. It's amusing, but not a parody or site making fun of something. So, Click here to go take the GMAC Driver's Test.
I got a 95%!!!
How'd you do? Oh, you should keep track of your answers as you go because it does not tell you which ones you got wrong. It just shows all the correct answers. Santa is a WomanThank you Hazeleleponi. It made my afternoon.
SANTA IS A WOMAN
I think Santa Claus is a woman. I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I really believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off. For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. By this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag, with the price tag firmly affixed to the bottom and the receipt stapled to the bag. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer, because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh, amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Other reasons : Men can't pack a bag. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened.....having to be seen with all those elves. Men don't answer their mail!! Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a 'bowl of jelly'. Men are not interested in stockings unless somebody shapely is wearing them. Having to do the HO HO HO thing all the time would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women. Finally being responsible for Christmas would require a COMMITMENT. I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men: Father Time - shows up once a year, unshaven, and looking ominous, definitely a guy. Cupid - flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam - is a politician who likes to point fingers. The Easter Bunny - takes a perfectly good basket full of eggs, and empties it willy-nilly all over the house and yard, no concern about who'll pick them up. Yep, that is a male. Leprechauns?? Come on, the number one attraction for St. Patrick's Day is green beer. Author Unknown
November 24 Music AddedI posted a few days ago about the Newsboys Album I ordered etc. I got it today!!! So, I listened to it on the way to work and realized that I HAD to share it with the world. It is only like the most amazing song ever!!! Then again I'm an otter, so it's even more appropriate. Anyway, I've added it, it may be changed at some point, but it will probably stay up as long as it's my current favorite.
On a side note, for those of you who hate music on websites (Yes, I'm talking to you K), if you hit <esc> as soon as it starts, I think that will stop the music. Otherwise, just scroll down to just below my profile picture and stop it in the media player. I did you a favor and made the media player visible so you could see whether or not you had stopped it.
I will concede this. If everyone hates having music here on the site, leave me a comment (with a name!) and I will remove it and make playlists instead or something. ONLY if like, everyone hates it. November 21 DUI video . . very amusingI get an e-mail every day with the funniest stuff on the net. I signed up months ago, but only recently have I actually been getting the emails. I'd already seen the first couple of videos or they weren't funny enough, but this one was worth posting. Now, I don't know how to actually post the video here, but I am going to give you the link. At first it appears like any other DUI video you've seen . . .then it starts looking like maybe it was actors doing a video . . . then comes the funny part. So, go watch it yourself and enjoy!!!
November 17 Quiz for todayI found this quiz off a friend's Bulletin on MySpace and it cracked me up. I had to take it. You should take it too!! I was highly Amused. Only problem is that a few of those people I don't even know, I've never heard of. Oh, well. Amusing nonetheless. Except for the fact that apparently Charles Manson and Hitler have a 17% "best suit" with me? Ummmmm, I think not. At least Jesus was higher than them. What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You?
What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You? created with QuizFarm.com Why I can't find a good manI have a routine. We all have routines. My morning routine is to wake up within 30 minutes of the alarm, rejoice that I can keep sleeping and then proceed to hit the snooze 2-5 times after it has started going off. When i finally drag myself out of bed I go upstairs and pour a cup of the coffee that my dad brewed between 330 and 5 that morning. I throw it in the microwave for 45 seconds and doctor it and turn on the coffee pot. I then go take my shower. By the time I've finished my shower the leftover coffee is full hot and I can refill my mug and re-doctor it if it needs it.
This is my routine. Friday's are the only days this is at all different. Because on Fridays my dad doesn't always work. And if he doesn't work then he didn't brew coffee at a godawful time of the morning. Sometimes I get up right around the time he gets up and then there is no fresh, already brewed coffee waiting for me.
 So, I either extra-doctor the "too strong because it hasn't finished brewing yet" coffee or cry. Well, no I don't actually cry, but I am sad and try to figure out what to do. This morning it's Friday. I got up around 750 and headed upstairs to start this morning routine. I got up there and went to grab a coffee mug for the already brewed heavenliness that is my dad's coffee. But there is a mug sitting on the counter already. And dad says to me "That cup is clean." Ummmmmm, okay, but I can see something inside the rim . . . I'm confused . . . I'll investigate. As I pick up the mug to look at what exactly is inside of it, my dad follows up by saying "I poured you a cup of the other stuff in case this pot wasn't brewed up when you got up." *sniff* *sigh* How considerate! He thought ahead to how sad I would be if the coffee was crappy strong because it wasn't done brewing when I got up and poured me a cup of the leftovers to heat up just in case. Then, not only did he do that! Once the pot was fully brewed he dumped out the leftovers previously set aside and rinsed the cup to wait for me to get up.
What does this have to do with finding a good man? Well, let me tell you. I can't even get a guy to be decent to me half the time much less open a door or anything considerate like that. That is bad enough. But if you add in the level of the bar my daddy has set, this coffee incident being only one example, then it's not likely most guys would want to even TRY to hit this level. My personal opinion? The vast majority of them are just too darn lazy to work this hard. Not all of them, I know! But the vast majority of them. Especially the younger ones. So, if I have any regular male readers who have a crush on me or wish they knew me, know this. "The gauntlet has been thrown down. Answer with vigor."* The bar is high, my expectations are high, I'm not likely to settle for much less.
The List
#3 - Considerate or this is a more indepth definition.
*This is a movie line paraphrase. November 16 WOO HOO!!!!! Yeah Newsboys!!!OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW I CAN HARDLY SIT STILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HAD TO GET RIGHT ON HERE AND SHARE MY NEWEST HAPPIEST NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(can you tell i'm excited?)
I went to Lifest, a music festival, in July and saw the Newsboys! They had a credit-type card you could buy for $10 and order the new Newsboys CD that was released at the end of October. So, I went home and ordered it and promptly forgot about it. Newsboys came out with a new song a bit ago and I wondered when I would get my cd. Then it was November and I kept thinking that the CD released in October. Well, I'm a slacker and procrastinator so I never got around to looking into it. Somewhere I got some kind of message from the Newsboys and went looking for the release date of that CD. Yep, 10/31, I was right. Now, I subsequently went through my old e-mails looking for the confirmation from the Newsboys store that I had in fact ordered the cd. I found it and e-mailed Brandi about my dilemma. She must have looked into it and this is the response I got today:
These were all shipped over 3 weeks ago. It should have arrived in the mail by now. We will go ahead and consider it a lost parcel and reship a new one to you. Please accept the upgraded enhanced copy that is autographed by the band free of charge to make up for the delay that the USPS has caused.
WHAT?! I am not only getting an upgrade, but a SIGNED COPY!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW I CAN HARDLY SIT STILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will also insert a note here that I am not exactly sure why I am SO excited, but maybe it's simply that amazing step-up to the microphone (ha ha pun!*) customer service she offered without hesitating or asking. I would have been happy just to know that I'm getting the CD, but for her to upgrade it like that!! Woo Hoo!!! Pun completely intended*.
*If you didn't know it, Newsboys has a song called, Woo Hoo. very amusing. They also have a CD called Step up to the Microphone. hee hee Cracker Barrel anyone?Last night I overhead a conversation that made me laugh. As I replay it in my mind I realize it really ought to be shared with the world. Thus comes the following story.
My mom decided after 30 years of marriage that she wasn't cooking anymore. She didn't like eating, nothing tastes good, she's not particularly experimental and she's just gosh darn tired of cooking. Now, she still has a husband who is used to being fed every night. What does he eat, you ask? Honestly, just about anything. He's not much for rice, but he will eat it if necessary. Otherwise we have always joked that mom could just about fry up shoe soles and he would eat it. The true test to how goodness of a meal is whether or not he goes back for seconds or thirds.
Since mom has decided she's not cooking he eats mostly deli items from the local grocery store. The little pan of beefy mac or mac n cheese. Sometimes a sandwich. Occasionaly she will decide to actually cook something up and then he'll have the leftovers for a month. Not consecutively mind you, but still. He doesn't mind. I think as long as he's not going to bed hungry or with heart burn he doesn't much care.
This has also given rise to a new phenomenon that always offended me on my father's behalf ever so slightly. Whenever she goes out to eat she orders a larger meal only intending to eat the salad or half of it, bags the rest up, and that's dad's supper. Voila! Now the leftovers-are-fine-'cause-I-can't-be-bothered-to-cook-for-you mentality of this always irked me a little bit. Until last night. She is having lunch with "the girls" today at Cracker Barrel. Last night I overheard them (mom and dad) discussing this and mom must have asked him if there was anything in particular he wanted for dinner tonight. Well, The response I overheard made me LAUGH! He actually said,
"No, I don't care what you get. Everything there is good!"
Well, alrighty then. I guess this slightly irked and lightly offended thing I've had is completely off base. He doesn't actually mind!!! Will wonders never cease! Wow. Just made me laugh. I guess that's part of how they've managed to stay married this long. He's easy-going and she's willing to accommodate a little.
So, here's Cheers to Cracker Barrel. Hope he enjoys whatever he gets!! November 15 SparkPeople Healthy ReflectionsI get an e-mail from SparkPeople daily-ish called "Healthy Reflections." It always has some kind of quote and then a little paragraph about what you should do with that quote. Well, today's made me laugh. Here it is.
You can't escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.
- Abraham Lincoln, U.S. President Is procrastination curable?
Procrastination. Putting off until tomorrow what you could do today. Is there a more counterproductive habit around? It causes more stress and anxiety than the Grinch in December. Procrastination solves nothing and usually makes things worse. It piles up unfinished business that lurks in and preoccupies the dark corners of your brain. You hope the pile will disappear, but for some reason it doesn't. The worst part is that once we put off things we'd rather not do, we start to delay the fun stuff as well. How many times have you said "no" to an opportunity because you had to take care of something you put off earlier? How many lost opportunities can you accept? Let's make action a habit instead. Tomorrow, focus on your toughest hurdle first. Get just that one thing out of the way and enjoy the rest of the day. Be firm and don't let yourself off the hook. After all, it's not going away. Follow that one strategy and you'll be surprised how the momentum carries through the rest of the day. Do it now!! Now the most amusing and wonderfully ironic part of this quote is that you're talking to procrastinators! So, my immediate thought after reading this was "Yeah, That's a great idea. I'll get right on that . . . tomorrow." DUH!!! I have lived by the motto "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow" for quite awhile and haven't suffered too many ill effects from it. have i? maybe. I don't know. Plus, it says "How many times have you said not to an opportunity because you had to take care of something you put off earlier? Ummmmmm, if the "opportunity" involved more fun than what i had already put off, then never. I've never turned down an opportunity like that. Just not my style. But I am a 38/40 otter. (Gary Smalley's personality types if you don't know what that means). Basically, if there is fun to be had I'll be there. I even act like an otter once in awhile before I can catch myself. Oh, and I should mention, it says at the end to go ahead and do whatever you're putting off because "it's not going away" ummmmm, it could. Many a thing in my life having been put off has simply gone away. So, that is not entirely true for them to say. If you put off snow shoveling long enough it will melt. Always. That is the rule of life. And, if you put off mowing the lawn long enough, it will snow and kill the lawn anyway. If you put off taking out the trash long enough, someone else will. Same for doing dishes. AND, if you put off dishes long enough you can simply throw a few away because they're too disgusting to be washed, thereby saving you those few minutes of washing those particular dishes. See, there can be an up side to putting stuff off!!!
Procrastinators Unite!!! November 14 Daily AmusementI realize this is probably highly un-PC, but I don't care. I felt like finally needing to share the little bit of sadistic amusement I get almost every single day.
There is a doctor in my building who specializes in geraitrics and bariatrics. Basically, I've decided, old people and fat people. I think she does some other stuff 'cause there are plenty of average size middle aged people in and out of the waiting area, but still.
Why is this amusing? In and of itself it's not particularly amusing, but she has this one nurse. This nurse is significantly overweight. Always makes me wonder why the doctor doesn't offer her some of the services or something. Wouldn't it be better advertising if your nurse used to be fat?
So, sadistic and self-depreciating as it may be, it amuses me that a doctor of bariatrics has a fat nurse. Amuses me every day. November 12 BAHI Want a Laptop!!! I am at my friend's hanging on and she is letting me play on the internet on her laptop. I wish I had wireless and a laptop. I'd be on the internet all the time!!!
On second though, it may not be the greatest thing in the world for the rest of my life. I could post a hundred more things a day and spend hours longer on message boards, but that may, in fact, NOT be in my best interest. *sigh* I'll keep wishing for that for another day. Maybe a wonderful, sweet, perceptive and incredibly considerate ggentleman will decide he HAS to have me in his life forever and he can get me wireless and a laptop!!! Yep, that is now my hope for a laptop. hmmmmmmmmmmm, wonder how long that'll take . . .
 Oh, and I should note, the only reason for this message is that I'm online and I can. That's it. Ok, I'm done now.  November 09 Poor Poor baby . . .I saw this article, well picture actually, and I was going to email it to one girlfriend of mine. Then I decided all the world should enjoy it with us. Plus, I know for a fact that the girlfriend I was going to email it to checks my site regularly. So, this ones for you Kelly!
I LOVE when MSN does the "Undressed" worst dressed thing. CRACKS ME UP!!! I don't always agree with their criticisms, but I do get it 90% of the time. Today, I saw this.
 And then the description was what really made me laugh
Now, the homeschooling crack could have been undeserved, BUT I would like to point out, in their defense, if you're actually homeschooling and youv'e made this dress or one like it, the human being wearing the dress would be less than the age of 10!!!! Jessica is almost 30 I think!!! COME ON!!! This is the best she could do??? I think not. So, don't take the homeschooling crack personally. Factor in the fact that Jessica is entirely too old to be wearing a dress you can buy at K-Mart for $14.99.
Oh, and in case that picture disappears somehow. Click here, it's the link to the original website it was on. Or you could just click there and go through the rest of the pictures. They're fairly amusing. November 08 Share the LoveSomeone left a comment on my last post, the list. But, she didn't leave a name, any initials, no identifying anything!!!
 At least leave me an initial! Please???
 And, share your list, share the love with the rest of us.
What should be the 20 things to get before you're 40?!
SHARE
SHARE!
SHARE!!
SHARE!!!
After I posted this I went into my statistics and saw that someone googled something to run across my blog. So I looked to see what it was. As I was browsing around I saw that someone else had also posted about how absurd the list was. You should go read hers too. It's funny. Funnier than mine. I didn't take enough time with mine. She also promises to put up her own list shortly. Go see, here. November 07 20 Things to Get Before You're 40According to Marie Claire, here are the 20 things to get before you're 40. I agree with less than half of them.
Now that I have posted it and added my own personal comments, I realize that I agree with slightly more than half of them, to some degree. Go see what you think. Let me know.
1) A DEAD-SERIOUS PIECE OF TIMELESS CLOTHING (CRAP!!!)
MC recommends: The YSL tux for women. yes, at $3560, it costs the equivalent of 350 pairs of leggings, but it will outlive them by several decades. 2) A LOOK (Ok, maybe, sure, I guess) 3) A PIECE OF ART (How about a reproduction of a piece of art?) 4) A FIRST EDITION . . . (CRAP!!!) 5) FANCY LUGGAGE (A MATCHED SET, PLEASE) (CRAP!!!) 6) ENLIGHTENED (Maybe not the Dalai Lama, but enlightened might be okay) 7) A FINANCIAL ADVISOR (If you have ANY cashola, this probably isn't a bad idea) 9) A MAMMOGRAM (Definitely if you're old enough or have a history!!!) 10) A GOOD CAUSE (Sign up people!!!) 11) A REAL WATCH (CRAP!!!) 12) A BIG-ASS TV (CRAP!!!) 13) A SMARTY-PANTS SUBSCRIPTION (Maybe not only these mags, but something more than 'O, Oprah' would be good.) 14) A SERIOUS RIDE (CRAP!!!) 15) AWAY (SURE!! It makes the Getting a cause all the more meaningful.) 16) SOME CLASSIC CDs 17) SOME CLASSIC DVDs 18) A DECENT CUP OF COFFEE (CRAP!!!)
20) OTHER THINGS TO GET? November 03 It can always be worse . . .Well, I am single. Not exactly happily single, but content enough. More importantly, I'm unwilling to lower my standards just to get someone interested. I've seen enough bad and problematic marriages around me to take a chance on that. I'm mostly an all or nothing person anyway, so it works for me.
I had decided months ago, possibly over a year, that I'd rather be single and wish I was married than to be married and wish I was single. Take a second and process that. given those two options, That's my choice, and I'm happy with it.
As if we needed more proof that things can be worse, someone has now created a book called Bored Couples. It's a photography book, probably much like a coffee table book. It is full of actual photographs of actual bored couples sitting together. It's pretty amusing actually.
So, as always, I'd rather be single and miserable than married and bored! hee hee. I get bored pretty easily so that's a pretty tall order. Oh, well. Life is what it is and I'll keep on swinging at any pitch that's not in the dirt.
Go see the pics, click here. Amusing. You'll enjoy. I promise. November 02 Woman unexpectedly has baby boyThings I never thought I'd "get used to" But, I've heard about a few, minimum 3 I can recall off the top of my head. Sadly, it's not nearly so rare as one would like to think. Woman unexpectedly has baby boy - Pregnancy - MSNBC.com November 01 News - Bob Barker Retiring After 50 Years on TV Things I never realized. I always read the Beloit List. The list of things that the current graduating class does or does not know, realize, remember, never have etc. At least, that's the one I always see. Well, there will be a new one in a few years. There will be a whole generation who has never seen Bob Barker on Television doing the Price is Right. Yep, that's right, he's retiring next year, in June. Hmmmm, maybe I should book my tickets to California next spring to get out there and see him before he leaves. Anyway, He started in 1973 I think it said and I realized, very suddenly, I don't know anyone else that ever did that show! My ONLY memories of Price is Right are of Bob!!! Such a sad day. Hey, anyone wanna go out with me to see him next spring?! |
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