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December 28 Fun schtuffSo I got this website from Gigglechick.com and found this little tidbit interesting:
As of 12/28/2005 10:20:42 AM EST
You are 27 years old. You are 331 months old. You are 1,441 weeks old. You are 10,088 days old. You are 242,122 hours old. You are 14,527,340 minutes old. You are 871,640,442 seconds old. Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.94833659491194 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!) This was interesting too: Your birth tree is Chestnut Tree, the Honesty
I didn't know we had "Birth tree"s. How interesting. It's sadly, pretty true, especially the "difficulties inf inding a partner." Now, I want my single girlfriends to go look and see if they have the same difficulty in their tree. ;) December 27 Thought I'd hear from a grown woman"That's it, I give up, I'm going to go be Amish!"
But, why honey?
"Because then I would be valued just for being a wife and homemaker!"
This calls for a new chapter in the book of "Things I never..." Hopefully you can add your own Things I never about your own life.
Personally, I never thought i'd say "living here in my parents basement isn't so bad" This was in light of the potential ability to give hundreds of dollars a month away to poor African children for them to have a better life. If I didn't pay rent or utilities or any of the things that usually come along with having one's own apartment, then I could give away MUCH money to poor sad children all over the world. Oh, well probably won't last, but on good days that what I thought to myself. you? Alarm clock updateSo, this morning I woke up to my new alarm clock going off. It was set for 7:30, but somehow when I looked up it read 1053. Well, apparently my brain wasn't actually awake yet, because it took a few minutes to process this bit of information. First I had to process that 1053 was almost 11 am. Then I had to figure out that today was Tuesday and that I am supposed to work. Then I had to realize that I was supposed to work at 9 and why didn't the alarm go off at 730 like it was set to and why in the world would it go off at 1053? So, I look over at it again and realize that it says 7:32 and that I am just fine on time. So, I hit the snooze and roll over. I hit the snooze a couple of more times and finally get up around 8 and get in the shower. While in the shower I suddenly remember this momentary 11 o'clock incident. I think "What in the world was that? Why would I think that?" Then I realize what happened. When my alarm goes off it must show the radio station for a bit and i had the radio set to 107.3. My brain, realizing that 7 is not a possible time for that slot changed it to a 5 for me. I thought, how odd! But, how much fun for my cyberfriends to read about. Enjoy!! And, enjoy the next "Things I never . . . " from a friend who shall remain namless to protect the innocent. December 25 Just what I wanted!!!Well, I got just what I wanted for christmas. And, very happily, I should no loger be missing any church on Sundays anymore. I went to our Carols by Candlelight service on Christmas Even and Thankfully I had at least 3 people mention to me that they hadn't seen me and were wondering how I was doing etc. That really touched my heart. Generally speaking I feel pretty invisible. So, to have more than one person notice that I had been gone really touched my heart. You'll see below a picture of my favoritest Christmas present this year. A new dual alarm clock so that i don't have to re-set and change it every week etc. That has been the problem. But, it is now solved. I have to note here though, mostly because I'm in a contemplative mood, what I am most thankful for.
I hope that you consider all of the little lovelies of your life and Thank God for putting them into your life. Thank you for reading and Here's to 2006 full of lovelies.
 December 23 Maahhhwwweeee Kiiiiissssssmmmaaaaaassssssss!!!!!So, I couldn't post that website I like this morning and then not post anything all Christmas weekend. So, I found these quizzes and thought I would sign off my Christmas weekend on an amusing note. Enjoy the quizzes. Enjoy your weekend. See you next year!! Well, I'll probably post next week, but then it will be next year after that! he he he. Enjoy!!
The one below is particularly funny because it only asks you one thing:
What's your wish for the New Year?
I answered: Self-Control.
This is the answer I got!! I think it's pretty amusing, especially #5.
I ran across this one and could NOT resist putting it up.
Another Website I likeI Saw this on "Overheard in the Office" which cracks me up on a fairly regular basis.
December 21, 2005
10AM Monitor Calls CSR on phone: If the item you need to return doesn't fit back in the box, maybe you could snip off the edges to make it fit. Either way it will all get back to our warehouse. 225 Bush Street
December 22 Merry Christmas!!!'Tis the season for thanking those who have been so kind and generous to me throughout the year, and I wanted to express my heartfelt appreciation to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me all those email "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now use a wet towel every time I seal an envelope. Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. Nor do I drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I don't use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I won't check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I won't go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I refuse to receive or send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise! I won't answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me. Thanks to you, I have learned that God will only answer my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I did the 8 second prayer and forwarded it to 8 of my friends, and to be sure, I did it 20 times and I'm still waiting for my miracle to happen. I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program. Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea ( bird flu?) will land on your head at 5:00 PM (EDT). I know this will occur because my friend Pearlas Sandborn, who's an attorney says this will work and it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's first cousin's hairdresser's daughter! December 20 Thought I would put in printSo, I am not one of those people who "sleeps like a log." Meaning, one of those people who lays down, zonks out, and then is not seen or heard from by anyone else nor by their own alter-ego until daylight. I wake up constantly in the night. Now, this has never been a problem. It is merely a lighter level of sleep and only long enough to adjust position, temperature, etc., and then right back into the deep sleep. For at least a year or two I actually didn't move at all in my sleep. I did sleep like a log, but I didn't move around either. Trust me, I'm not going to argue the moving around point. I have more important (i.e. funnier) things to talk about.
So, for the last few months, especially since it got cold here in Wisconsin, I have been waking up through the night. Kicking off socks, pulling on blankets, whatever. But, apparently, last night I was particularly exhausted. At some point in the night I kicked my socks off. I seldom do this. I think twice ever that I can think of.
But, last night at some point I kicked them off or something. Because I woke up at some point during the night to roll over and as I rolled over something super soft and fuzzy rubbed my cheek. Oddly enough this did not freak me out AT ALL!!!! (That in and of itself is enough to freak me out though) However, I took a moment, grabbed it, realized IT WAS MY SOCK! and threw it off the side of the bed onto the floor. For a split second it occurred to me:
What the HECK is my SOCK doing on my PILLOW BY MY HEAD!!!
Then right back to the deep sleep. I thought of it today at some point and just thought "how odd" but then I came home tonight. I got home and I changed into my comfies, comfy clothes, sweats, super big sweatshirt, super soft socks, warmth incarnate, etc. And I went to look for those socks 'cause they're my super warm loverly socks. I could NOT find that other sock! I found the one I threw on the floor, but the other one was nowhere to be found amidst the conglomeration o' crap on my bed. However, once I cleaned the bed off I found the other sock underneath my body pillow around chest height!
What the heck were my socks doing up there!!
I have no idea. This is probably a Question for Heaven (check this link to see the lyrics). Guess I'll never know. You? Long time no seeOr write I suppose. Well, not much to say. Life has been average life. I feel like I'm disappointing my Kelly since I know she has a routine that includes looking to see if I've written anything new. Sadly, I haven't written in a week or two. Just busy, tired, holiday time and haven't had the time to write down the funny stuff I've run across. So, I guess I'll just fill in the last couple of weeks and maybe add a few funny notes here or there.
So, I finished Dog sitting and went back home. Where I belong, in my dungeon. he he, anyway. I got a Gazelle just before Thanksgiving. I haven't been on it much, but there are high hopes for next year. Especially if I can figure out a way to get Tivo service. Working on that. Mom is fairly adamant, but maybe I can turn it.
Oh, I just realized something. I gotta go. Maybe I'll write more about the snowstorms preventing my sister and I from seeing each other . . . ever again.
Or, about my mom's Christmas wish to have someone open the Ibuprofen bottle for her
or, about the girl I saw in the mall wearing slip on sandals after 4 inches of snow and 15 degree weather. Well, that's all there is to that story, but what the heck is that about!!!
December 15 Happiness is...A cup of perfect hot, doctored coffee to be sipped just before getting into a perfectly hot shower pounding on my back within 10 minutes of crawling out of bed.
AhHhHhHhHhH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 December 09 Glorious snowfall . . . . almostFirst, let me say that last night when this most recent harrowing ordeal (much worse than the dumpster box lock-in incident) was happening to me, it was not the least bit funny. In fact I actually cried at one point and had to bite my lip to keep from crying at least 3 times because I was outside and I just don't think crying when it's 15 degrees and blizzarding is a very good idea. (Thanks for the word, Kelly!!) However, now that I've taken pictures, no one is upset, and it's a Friday I'm less upset and can see the humor in it. Hopefully you can too!
So, I live in Wisconsin and we got dumped on yesterday. I left work at 4 completely unaware that it had begun blizzarding. I got in my car and headed for the dog-sitting house. I got home and let the dogs in and out and all the normal stuff and then set my mind to shoveling the driveway, in spite of the fact that it was still snowing at that time. So, I found the shovel and picked a spot to start. I shovel and shovel and shovel. I get 3/4 of the driveway done and look back where I started and it is literally covered in about a half inch of snow. Great! Glad I could be of service.
So, I achieve the goal I had when I went out. I am cold, tired, very wet, look like a wet dog and feel great for having done exactly what I wanted. I come in the house, have a cup of coffee (something hot) and take a shower. I get my PJ's on and get ready to settle onto the couch with supper and Survivor/CSI. But, then one of the dogs has to go outside. So, I go to the back door and let her out and look up into the backyard ('cause that's what I always do) and see that the summer/shade canopy my friend has had up over her carport has buckled under the weight of 3-4 inches of snow and is now tipped completely to one side and leaning fully onto the side of my car. WHAT?! How can I possibly relax or think about going to work in the morning or going to sleep tonight for that matter when there is a canopy leaning on my car!! Okay, take a breath . . . who do I know that could maybe help me . . . think
 . . . . think . . . . think . . . . I got nothing  . No one, not a single person, rather friend/acquaintance of mine, lives near here at all and it's still blizzarding outside so the roads are total crap and I wouldn't make anyone come over anyway. Hmmmm, maybe it's not that bad. Maybe I can do it myself. So, I eat a piece of cheese danish (like this one) and head out to take a look at this canopy. (The note on the cheese danish will be important in a minute, go look at the picture). I can stand underneath it and considering that I trust the weight of my car to hold it in place I turn a few circles looking at the sides etc trying to figure out what I can do, if anything at all. I poke something and hear the snow start to slide. So, I figure, if I'm careful and I can knock most of the snow off of the top maybe I can push it off to the side myself. Yeah for me!! So, I poke one portion and get most of the snow off, do another, then a third. I start on a fourth and then the fifth. Now, the fifth one is directly above my head and in hindsight it was probably level, so I'm not even sure which direction I thought the snow was supposed to head, but I pushed too hard and split the fabric thing and dropped a wad of snow, RIGHT ON MY FACE!
 Say it with me "un-ha-pee-cam-per!!!" So, I give up on that one and think, maybe if I get all the rest cleared then that one won't matter. So, I grab this lawn ornament/basket hanger thing and think "maybe I can use this and reach higher than my stubby arms will reach." Only to tap the 6th side a little to hard and watch the lawn ornament thing go right through the fabric into the snow. Hmmmm, now this is one of those moments I had to bite my lip to keep from crying and having a full-blown breakdown in my friend's backyard in 15 degree weather with an inch of snow on the ground, more coming, no food in my belly, 3 dogs depending on me, a hot shower already behind me, Survivor and CSI waiting for me. *sigh* it was tough. So, at this point, I give up. Yep, I quit. I simply walked back into the house. I get into the house, hang up my coat, set my boots aside, step into the kitchen and see that danish package sitting right where I left it, with the top about half open, AND THE DANISH IS GONE! GONE I say!! Yep, Sadie ate it. She just leaned up onto the counter and ate it right out of hte package and left the package on the counter for me as evidence.
 Okay, well, whatever. Like I need more danish in my life (which reminds me of the pictures of my ugly belly and stretch marks I took once and wishing I had that pic available to put up here and show how much I do NOT need more danish in my life . . . but I digress) Okay, whatever, at least she didn't get the Hostess Cupcake heavenliness or the Oreo chocolat cream goodness waiting for me. I would have really had a conniption fit if she had gotten all of them. Okay, so deep breath, I can deal with lost danish. It was also at this point that I thought of you, my loverly friends in CyberSpace, and decided to take a picture of the leaning canopy for posterity's sake. That pic is attached and here:
The canopy however is still a problem. So, I look in my friend's caller ID to see if I can find her sister's phone number. Nope, no luck. But I did see the other sister's number. So I call them and ask if they can call the nearby sister and ask her husband to come help me. So, I start making some Easy Mac for supper and wait to see if I get a phone call from someone or what. Then the phone rings. My easy mac is done and I've eaten a couple of bites and I turn to answer the phone and leave the easy mac on the counter and I no more than answer the phone and turn around and the dog is up on the counter EATING MY EASY MAC!!! I seriously had a split second "I'm actually going to injure this dog severely" moment. Well, he's a locksmith so he can't come help me right this second but he will stop by on his way home.
So, I decide after getting off the phone that the little bit of other food I have there doesn't sound very appetizing. But, what does sound appetizing, you might ask? Oreo's and coke. So, that's what I had. 4 Chocolate cream oreos and a mini can of coke. That was my Supper of Champions. Then I decided to add a Hostess Cupcake. So, I talked to the sister about 715. Now, I didn't know how long (or short) it would take him to get here, so I sat down at the computer to putz around on MySpace.com and surf the 'net and busy myself.
At some point I decide to go outside and take another look. Maybe I wasn't looking at the right thing the last time. So, I go outside and look around at the canopy and my car etc. I see nothing new, BUT the next door neighbors have a guy shoveling their driveway. So, I say "Hey, Sir! Excuse me!!" In a reasonably loud voice. Not screaming, but not whispering. I kid you not, there was ABSOLUTELY NO REACTION whatsoever! So, a little louder "Hey, SIR! EXCUSE ME!!!" Again, absolutely no reaction. So, I wait for him to turn towards me and I wave my arms and try again "EXCUSE ME SIR!!! COULD YOU HELP ME!!!" Still no reaction. Which just makes me want to cry, in spite of the fact that I think I can see earmuffs or something on his head. I still want to cry. I refuse (for some weirdo reason that makes no sense today) to trudge across the yard and get his attention and help. So, I come back in the house. thankfully there was nothing for the dogs to eat or get into so i sit back down at the computer for awhile and wait for the brother in law to show up. Finally a little after 9 (YEP, NINE O'CLOCK) he shows up.
I could have watched Survivor, CSI and maybe started The Triangle, a mini-series I tivoed to watch this week!!! Okay, I can not be mad, I can even not be annoyed, as long as we free our car. And, it is blizzarding outside, the roads are crap, then he mentions he came in from the next town over, and then also mentions that he forgot to stop by, so he drove from the next town all the way home and, probably, was reminded by his wife, and came right over. I'm still upset in a very generalized way, but I can deal with that. Nothing a few more oreos won't fix. kinda.So, we go over to the canopy/car trap and take a look. I explain what I have figured out and already done and what does he do? He reaches up to the split in the canopy right above his head, the split I had already put in there, and he pushes on it as if to get the snow to fall off. In hindsight that is VERY Amusing, but at the time I don't think I even noticed. So, we tried pushing here and pulling there and nothing really seemed to work. What could be an even longer story shortened, we take the right hand side (right hand side of the pic below), the side leaning against my car, and just basically start pushing. We push the entire thing over to the far side into the yard. Honestly, I didn't even look at the canopy once it was off my car. That was all I really cared about. As much as I would love to have a day off work for no reason, I don't think calling in sick with a "the canopy has fallen on my car" excuse is going to go very far.
So, I come back in the house and try warming up. Then, of course, one of the dogs has to go potty. So, I go to the back door and let her out and look up again and admire the glorious snowfall. Then I look over at the canopy and realize it looks like this!!!
Oh, my goodness!! I knew it was basically ruined but until i saw that I didn't realize that it was, RUINED!!!! I thought maybe it was salvagable with a little JB Weld and fabric patches. Ummmm, NOPE. It is ruined, completely. WOW, what a harrowing experience. Much worse than the "Locked in the dumpster box" episode last month. Thankfully my friend didn't seem to be overly upset about it. Which I was VERY grateful for. Her bigger concern seemed to be if my car was okay. *sigh* So, I am having a relaxing evening at home with Tivo and 3 dogs (See Photo Album-Wallman's). Away I go.
 "Tivo take me away"P.S. for any of you who doubt the truth of this story, don't. It is all 100% true. I'm not making this one up. Help me Help her!!!Hello Cyber friends. Help me help a cyber friend. Gigglechick, one of the blogs I read every single day is up for a weblog award. You can vote once every 24 hours until the 15th. She is gunning for Best Blog Design. Click below to go vote for her. Help us out!! She's great. She starts my morning off right!!!
  December 08 Todd Agnew Come Join us on Myspace.com!!!
And, he's cute and appears to be single . . . hmmmmm
Maybe we should start an e-mail campaign to get him to Wisconsin to meet me.  he he, just kidding. well, kinda. I don't think a deluge of e-mails from third-party friends is the best way to try getting a guy's attention. December 06 Single articleSo, I have posted an article or two before. Check out this one. Please read it and then e-mail me or leave a comment. First and foremost,
I AM LOOKING FOR BUDDIES!!!
If you'd like to apply, e-mail me. (NOTE: You have to read the article to know what i'm talking about). Second,
I AM OPEN TO MATCHMAKING!
That said, keep in mind the guidelines posted in this article.
So, all that said. Maybe you'll laugh at the quizzes and say a prayer for me, laugh at me and say a prayer for whoever made up the quizzes or even laugh at both. Whatever trips your trigger. Hope you have a GREAT day!!!
And, please, dear God, if I look or sound at all desperate, please just let it LOOK like eagerness . . . .  One more quiz . . . VERY AmusingI am 28% Idiot. I ain't too bright. But all those other idiots annoy the hell out of me. I may not be the brightest bulb in the bunch, but at least I know my limits.
 I love simple, goofy quizzes!!!!!
Okay, these last three items aren't so true about me . .. but maybe a little bit at the worst oftimes.
Ahhhh, if only . . .
Ahhh, now that's more like it!!!
All quizzes brought to you by YNR Blogthings! December 05 Thought I'd HearSo, right this second I'm sitting at Charity's house. We're trying to rest before she leaves to visit her husband in Virginia. She tried to grab her son to disipline him and he jumped away and said to her "Ha, missed me!" So, she grabbed him to discipline him for that. She said to him "If you say that to your dad, he'll knock your two front teeth out." And he starts crying and says, "I don't want dad to knock my teeth out and me look like a grandfather."
What? Where'd he get that from?? Charity rightly points out, both of his grandfathers have all their teeth. Too many cartoons with old toothless men apparently. Cracked us up. Hope you enjoyed it. December 02 Happy DecemberHey friends!! Been a couple of days again. This dark and gloomy weather is really messing with my moods. It's been hard to find much to laugh about. And, I definitely don't want this site turning into some "oh, poor me" pity party that no one wants to read. So, I received these through e-mail from Lora (Thanks Lora!!) and had to share my personal favorite. I'm keeping my PartyLite pics at the top of the Photo list, but you can click on the photos link above and choose the "Letters to God" album. Here is my personal favorite! Enjoy!!
Please do not "steal" this photo as I think it removes it from my site. Save it out of the Photo Album please. I think copy and pasting this one removes it. Thanks!! |
Well - one cute, soft, cuddly puppy...
Giggles Cartwheels
You taste like nothing else in this world.
Christmas is a big, boisterous event at your place.
1) Get a pet chihuahua
Flávia Rodrigues
You are an optimistic person who is easily content.
You're the type of girl guys brag about knowing
You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy.|
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