Be Present
After much obsessing, the key I've found is to enjoy the present and not allow one part of your life to determine the rest of it. When I fully concentrate on the present, I'm busy enjoying the people I'm with, my hobbies, a good book, good food. I find I spend very little time missing anything. The Bible tells us to think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and excellent (Philippians 4:8). When we're present doing this, we can't help but be content.
Gilaine

Don't Go It Alone
It's so hard to not let your thoughts hold you captive. It's easier if the situation is blatantly sinful—you know you shouldn't. But when you're waiting on that someone to call …

My advice? First, ask for the Holy Spirit to help. I try to make sure I'm never doing anything out of sheer willpower. So ask for help from the Helper.

From there, force your mind to focus on something else. Use the opportunity to clean, exercise, visit someone who needs cheering up, or better yet, spend time in the Word. Set your mind on things above, not on the telephone!

My guy friends tell me one big turn-off is a woman who checks in with them too much. And frankly, as exciting as it is when you first discover that someone you like likes you back, it's a major trap to put your focus on that one individual. So keep the Lord as the focus of your life from the start, and you'll avoid major pitfalls later.
Danielle

Gain Perspective
First, I take a breath and try to realize this isn't life and death. I get moving and stop waiting for the shoe to drop. No mail? Still waiting for "the call"? I go work out, call a friend, take in a movie, or do something constructive. I try to replace unwanted thoughts with others I know will benefit me. And I realize people do have other things going on in their lives that may keep them away from things they'd like to do … like calling.
David

Take It to the Cross
I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies, and God revealed to me a number of months ago that he can heal me. He gave me 2 Corinthians 10:5 as kind of a theme verse: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Initially, I couldn't figure out how one might take every thought captive to Christ. After praying about what that looks like, God showed me what to do. I'm a very imaginative person and tend to visualize a lot. So I mentally write down whatever I'm obsessing about, then I take that paper, mentally, to a visualized cross and I nail it there and walk away. God always steps in and takes the thought. I don't know what he does or how he does it, but it usually takes days for one of those thoughts to come back to me again.
Kristine

Just Breathe
I attach some short truth or Bible verse to my breathing—intentionally breathing deeply with a thought that will interrupt the obsessive thinking and begin to break those chains. For example, I might breathe in thinking the words "You are my beloved," and breathe out thinking, "On you my favor rests." Several repetitions can refocus me to more productive thoughts, not to mention the fact that good breathing helps relax the body.
Diane

Ask the Tough Question
I often ask myself this question when I find myself in this situation: "Do I think about Christ this much?" Do I check and see if he has something to say to me? If my answer is "no," then I spend a little more time concentrating on what God has for me. If something is occupying your mind and not leaving room for Christ to dwell there, then it's not healthy.

To change my thoughts, I read a good book and do some soul searching. More often than not, the guy isn't spending near as much time worrying about whether or not he's going to call me. So I don't make myself the prisoner of others' schedule or emotions.
Cary

Change Your Focus
Trying not to obsess about a relationship in the past often failed me because I was still making my thoughts captive to the relationship. I've learned that my very thought process was the reason why my thoughts remained on the relationship. Here's what I'd say to myself: "I need to get my mind off of this relationship. I'm gonna go [insert task here]." It sounded like a good plan to me at the time.

But what I failed to realize in trying to break away from the preoccupation with the relationship was that I was still thinking about the relationship. "I need to get my mind off of this relationship." In trying to escape from the thoughts, I instead buried myself more into them. No wonder I was all messed up!

For me to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ, Jesus must be the One who fills my thoughts. Instead of thinking about relationships with others, I need to think about my relationship with him first. It helps me to ask myself, "What would God think about this?" or "What would Jesus do in this situation?" In thinking about God first, my thoughts immediately become obedient to him. In all I do, even in the seemingly mysterious realm of love, I know that I should strive to put God first. It's not always easy, but it certainly makes things easier.
R. W.

We welcome your feedback and brainstorms at: SinglesNewsletter@ChristianityToday.com

And how interesting and poignant (right word?) it is that just yesterday I told a friend to give her cousin my number.  She has told me about him a few times and I have always figured he was too old for me.  But, I decided that it wasn't quite right to shut the opportunity out like that.  The ball is still FULLY in his court, but at least he'll be able to do something with it if he chooses. 

So, between this article and my immediate situation, please pray with me that I wouldn't obsess over waiting for the phone to ring.  And, I'm sure, I'll be letting you know if and when it does and what, if anything, happens after that. 

1. Mountain of God by Third Day - God and I had a great talk during this song at their concert in September.  GREAT song.

2. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol - I'll agree with Lori here too: "It's trendy and all, but how am I not going to like a song that advocates both wasting time and just laying here?"

3. Wherever We Are by newsboys - This is one of the single greatest car dancing rock out songs ever.   EVER.

4. Crazy by Gnarles Barkley - although I haven't heard this in awhile, it ALWAYS makes me CRANK my radio as high as I can stand it.

5. Wholly Yours by David Crowder Band - they're fab.  'nuf said.

6. By His Wounds (?) with Mac Powell and a bunch of other guys. - There is just something about a whole group of fabulous male voices all singing in a perfect harmony.  dc Talk did this a bit too.  Almost gives me chills.

7. Born to Love by TobyMac - this one is like Crazy, it will always make me crank my radio.

:sigh:  Good, now I'm done.  I got to 4 and kinda got stuck for a minute.  That whole know the song but not what it's called or who sings it thing.  And now, I tag all of you.  You can post on your blog and leave the link in the comments or just put your answer in a comment.  There are, as ever, no actual rules around here, so do seven, do more or less...whatever.  Totally up to you. (I agree Lori, and I'm too lazy to try to rephrase something that should be obvious.)