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21 October Biggest Loser Reflections1) Amy is my new model. She is closer to me in age than Coleen is (though she is still INCREDIBLY INSPIRING to me) and she carries her weight almost exactly like I do. So ... she's my new favorite
2) Vicky irritates the crap out of me. She is TOTALLY there to win the money. Which on one level I understand, but in my opinion if you're not on this show to lose weight and improve your health then get off. That's not inspiring, that's not encouraging, THAT'S NOT HELPING!!! Plus having to watch her smug ugly face grin throughout their ENTIRE ridiculously pathetic weigh-in ... irritating isn't even the word for it.
3) Heba is also driving me crazy. She has the craziest mindset about stuff. I will concede it is entirely possible I myself would be acting just that crazy in the same situation ... since I have a tendency towards The Crazy anyway ... but it still irritates me. I actually agree with Phil, she is constantly trying to control the game to her advantage. I soooooo wished that one brownie Amy ate would have been JUST enough to nudge Heba over so Amy could choose teams. Personally, I think I'd have split it halfway down the middle just to even it out. But, that's me .... sitting at home .... on my couch .... with cookie dough. Well, not tonight I didn't have cookie dough, but usually I do.
Lastly, the part that bothers me the most. I watch this show and I truly am inspired by the changes these people are making the risks they've taken and, honestly, all the screaming and crap they take from Jillian and Bob. But no matter what their results are and no matter how well they do or how much they inspire me ...
I don't want to be 'That Girl'
I have never wanted to be the person who spends hours in a gym. Even when I worked at a gym and could see the obvious results, I still was mostly just irritated by those people. Mostly because they seemed quite shallow as well as thin and tone. but, me, I want to live a FULL life .... like ...
FULL!!!
I am doing that a lot already. I don't have TIME to spend even an hour a day in the gym.
And, yeah yeah I've heard it, it's about finding the small spaces to squeeze in a work out. Well, when I come home at lunchtime for my hour break from my crazy coworkers (who make me want to DRINK!) I do NOT want to work out while I'm here. I want to watch a TV episode or read a book and fully 100% escape from the life I started that morning. Honestly, that is the only way I get through the afternoons sometimes.
Or it's about your eating habits too. Sure it is. But when you're literally living in the red on a monthly basis, you eat what you can afford and you buy ONLY the things you are certain you will actually eat. So, even in that I am limited.
Also I thoroughly enjoy my tv shows at night, plus you're not supposed to work out too close to bedtime because then you can't sleep. I am not about to do ANYTHING that may jeopardize my sleeping. I already have issues with insomnia, I am sooooo not taking that chance. But anyway, I thoroughly enjoy my shows, so I don't want to spend that time in a gym or working out in front of tHe tv, that's my R&R time.
Plus I've been trying to get my mindset/attitude straight so I can get this business going. Well that is at least a half hour of calls every other night at minimum, eventually it would be every night.
Add all those together with a full-time job for a single girl (i.e. no other help at home) who had a very full life of time with family and friends who
STILL has to keep up her house,
pay her bills,
cook for herself,
clean up after herself,
take care of herself,
get enough sleep
and somehow enjoy this thing we try to build called Life
.... there simply aren't enough hours in a day.
Sure, I'd love to be a size 6. I am just realistic enough with myself to know that i am simply not willing to do the amount of work that some other people clearly are. 4 November Hair Dilemma ... question ... advice requestedI have very curly hair *see photos below. Most people assume it is a perm ... it is not. Fully, absolutely 100% au natural. I am quite proud of my hair. I read a book called Curly Girl which suggested an "alternative" way to care for curly hair. I adjusted that alternative to my personal opinions and voila ... even more lovely hair.
The problem is style. I have little of it. Primarily because I can't grow it very long or it gets too heavy and the curl pulls out straight at my scalp and only the ends are curly. This is not a particularly attractive look. So, I have to keep it shoulder length or less. I've gone less and as an overweight girl who carries some weight in her jawline/chin, this is not particularly attractive either. The additional dilemma is that I am way too cheap to pay $20 every 8 weeks to get it "reshaped." I realize that $20 for a good haircut is a STEAL of epic proportions, but that is simply a testament to the extreme level of my personal cheapness.
I have been considering another option. BUT I am VERY NERVOUS about trying this.
I have a lot of really tight curls right around my face. If I don't clip them back or anything, they just hang there. So, my pondering has been to get out the scissors and just clip one or two up shorter. Maybe once or twice a week. Sorta like bangs, only fully cooperating with what my hair is ALREADY doing. Unlike most of the bangs I have tried in the past which involved a blow dryer, a curling iron, hairspray and lots of aggravation. So, do I take this risk and try to clip my curls just a little bit one or two at a time to see what they do and if I can essentially "shape" the front of my hair myself ... thus saving me at LEAST every other haircut if not two out of three???
I JUST DON'T KNOW. INTERNET! I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS AND ADVICE!!!
15 March Obsessive much?So, I've been using SparkPeople (see link upper left of this/home page) on my weigh-loss journey for 6+ months. And, I love it. But, then I see these stories on MSN of people who've lost weight etc. The first person has gastric bypass. Personally, I think that gastric bypass is used about 80% more often than it really should be. But, no one listens to me and, more importantly, no one is asking my opinion of it. But then we have the people who go from obsessing about food (or stuffing down feelings or whatever got you fat) to obsessing about the gym or some exercise or something. Take this guy:
 He is the current story on msn. (click here to read) I'll grant you those washboard abs look pretty amazing, but I'd rather enjoy more of my life than spend that much time in the gym. He does say in his article that for awhile he worked out twice a day but now works out 4x a week focusing on one muscle group. That's great. good for you. But, could we shoot for a more average look? The average guy does NOT have abs like that. Half the weight-lifters at the local gym don't even have abs like that! An overly intense focus on exercise to the detriment of other more worthy, worthwhile and fulfilling parts of life just annoys me. Seeing his picture made me want to write. Ok, I've written.
And, I have NEWS!!!! I'm getting DSL tonight!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!! VERY EXCITED!!! Hopefully I'll be posting a lot more now!! Just think of all the funny things I can tell you if it doesn't take me 5 minutes just to get online, 5 minutes to load up my page, 10 minutes to write it up and 5 minutes to scream at the computer because the dial-up wouldn't load the page right and now it won't post!
 VERY EXCITED!!!11 August Spark People ROCKS!!!I have joined a FREE, Yep, completely and utterly, FREE diet and nutrition website. It's GREAT. That's where I've been spending much of my internet time. You get points for stuff you should be doing anyway and there are teams you can join and leader boards and tons of great information. I love it!! My personal favorite part, other than it being free, is the meal tracker. You can see suggested meals or you can simply put in what you're eating every day and it calculates calories, fat, carbs and protein. This is a huge eye-opener for me. You can sign up for regular e-mails in categories or topics that interest you. And, when you read them, you get points!!! So, today I got this e-mail. It is my personal mission statement, more or less. My current mindset and attitude towards all of this.
OH, and by the way, I've lost over 10 pounds in the last couple months since I started working at Curves. As my mother pointed out, even 1 pound a week is still 52 pounds in a year. I'd like to lose 2-3 pounds a week, but so far that hasn't happened. AND, i'm doing a Strength training program that builds muscle, so the scale may not move as fast as I wanted it to anyway. So, if you'd like
 Get a Free Online Diet
and my username for your referral is MOUSEMARIE.
In the meantime, enjoy the e-mail I got today.
Week of 8/10/2006 SUBJECT: What's the most motivational thing you can do for yourself? POSTER: KINKYBOOTSNO1 For me, it's coming to terms with the fact that I have the right to be healthy, I have the right to be the weight I find suits me best, I have the right to be happy, I have the right to remove this feeling of inferiority that I have carried around all my life, somehow never feeling "good enough". I have finally come to realize that whatever I read, whomever I talk to, whatever group I belong to and however long I live, I will not succeed in what I want until I learn to love and nurture the only person that can actually take this journey for me. I have come to realize that the body I have is the only body I am ever going to get. I am working daily to accept that fact. I have spent all of my adult life hating myself for not being something or someone I thought I should, never accepting the fact that I am me. I have spent my life verbally abusing myself in a way that I would NEVER allow someone else to. I would certainly NEVER dream of speaking to someone else in the same manner. I am finally learning to love me for me. Yes, I want to lose weight and improve my health, in return gaining higher self-esteem and confidence. I am learning to accept that hating my body is not going to fix anything. I have spent so many years hating the one person that I should have been loving- the one person that has always been there for me, always carried me through every situation despite the fact that I never had anything good or uplifting to say to her. I have finally learned and continue to learn that I am worthy of being liked and even loved. I am finally learning that I am trustworthy and that I CAN trust myself. This body is the only body I'm ever going to get and while there are things that I want to improve about my body, underneath all this is actually a very beautiful woman. 18 April Another Monday . . . . sortaWell, I'm a slacker. Sort of. I've been busy!! My lovely friends know this busy-ness and understand my absence here. . . I hope. That combined with the fact that I've quit posting from work certainly cuts the number of posts. And as much as I could sit here and talk forever . . . I have grocery shopping to do, work to finish before I leave and a small group to attend tonight. Maybe, just maybe I'll post my most recent bit of loveliness after I get home from getting groceries and before I leave for my small group.
Meanwhile, I was supposed to post yesterday how I'm doing on the Great Blogger Fat Off. Well, I weighed myself at work yesterday ( I never remember to do it immediately at home in the morning because the scale is in another room . . . don't ask). And I guess I lost a half a pound. I wasn't careful or anything with Easter, I just did my normal thing and added some homemade cookies and a bit o' cake to the mix. So, now it looks like I'm 202.5 which is ok. Especially since I worked out 3 times the week before and 4 times last week and hopefully four times this week. 3 for sure. So, that means I'm building muscle, so technically I could have lost 2 or even 3 pounds, but if I put on a bit o' muscle then my number on the scale could come out the same . . . right??
 Work with me here people
 Oh, and I thought I would include this cartoon. It made my boss and I both laugh pretty hard. Enjoy!! Let me know how you're doing in your health goals!!
 If you can't read it well or you want a copy of it for yourself, click here. Or go into my Photo Albums under Blog photos and copy it from there. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do NOT copy it from here as it deletes it off my site. I don't know why, I don't know how, but it does. THANKS!!! 10 April Great Blogger Fat OffSo, I read Gigglechick every morning. She's on my Yahoo homepage for work. Her mom has been sick recently so she hasn't posted very much, but if you go into her archives there are some pretty funny things. Especially the RRE posts. Those are my personal favorites. She has done a "Great Blogger Fat Off" a couple different years around this time I think. This year she limited it to the first 20 people and unfortunately 20 people had signed up before I could get on the list. But, I pseudo-joined anyway. I'm going to post my info on her site, and probably on here, so that you (and them) can help motivate and encourage me. I figure with my new job at Curves that it should be a given that I lose SOME kind of weight. As I mentioned on her site I am hoping to tackle my eating habits and other habits and maximize the loss in 3 months. Because I posted it on her site, I'll be straight up honest here too. I know my lovely loyal readers won't be too surprised and certainly won't berate me for it. So, here goes, drum roll please
As of last week I was 203 on the scale at work.
I am 5'2"
My goal is to lose 30 pounds, 10 pounds a month which is 3ish pounds a week.
*thought as I drink my highly sugared coffee* (google tells me that 1 tsp of sugar=4 grams. that equals 24 grams minimum in my morning coffee) Hmmmm, 3 pounds a week . . . . I could probably lose that if I stopped drinking this coffee or even added a "real" breakfast to my routine . . . hmmmmmm, will have to consider those options in the future.
So, I will be working out at Curves at least 3 days a week and tackling my habits as I go. I'll keep you updated on my progress. Actually, now that I think about it, Truthfully I am going to be more focused on inches than on the number of the scale. The Curves program is a strength training and simultaneous cardio program so I should be building and increasing lean muscle mass, which most of us know weighs more than fat anyway. So, I'll post the weight, but hopefully my co-worker will measure me tonight and I can post those . . . well, I'll post the losses next week . . . maybe I'll measure myself so I won't have to bother her . . . . whatever, I'll let you know later. I've got work to do!
If you want to join me, leave me a comment. we'll share our progress together!!
Oh, and click here if you want to see Giggle chick and company's progress!
 12 March Officially losing itOk, friends. I think I may be officially losing my mind. Oddly, it is one of the most content and joyfilled place I've been for as long as I can remember.
I cleaned my kitchen tonight.
No, not like, did the dishes and swiped at the counter top. I mean, hardcore cleaned! I soaked the sink in bleach and scrubbed all the edges, took a knife to the nasty corners. That was yesterday.
Tonight after we were done eating, I voluntarily did the dishes with no prompting at all and then proceeded to scrub the counter top in one corner next to the stove that probably hasn't been scrubbed in an absolute minimum of a year, probably much more.
Then I decided to do the same to the other edge of the counter that probably hasn't been scrubbed in just as long. Serious elbow grease, fantastik degreaser, top edges, sides, front, all of it!
Then, I went to put away the sponge in this pop out drawer thing that sits inside the front of the counter in front of the sink. And I saw that the bottom of the drawer thing was NASTY!! This is where we keep our sponge for scrubbing dishes and what it sits in is beyond filthy!!! Totally grossed me out. So, I scrubbed that one out. Then I opened up the other one and scrubbed that one out too.
I even made my mom check through her pile of papers that sit behind the flour/sugar canisters to make sure none of it was trash. Not much, but a couple things were. I am more than a little flabbergasted!!
Wanna know my secret?? I'll tell ya.
FLYLADY!! I
  flylady!! You can check her out here if you have no idea what I'm talking about.
I should note before I get much further along that I need to thank my loyal reader, Kelly, for turning me on to Flylady. Honestly, I don't think there is anything truly amazing about flylady, nor do I think she's a savior or . . . . I don't know, like Dr.phil. What I mean by that is that, she doesn't have some phenomenal new system that no one has ever heard of. She's not introducing something new at all. BUT, I will definitely say her system will work if you work it. If you pay attention and even do half-hearted attempts at most of her stuff, you will get somewhere. One of the things she says all the time that gets me every time I read it is:
"The house did not get dirty overnight and it will not get clean overnight."
Although I can hear some people trying to argue with this, blah on you. Her focus is on people who have CHAOS-Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. If you don't have CHAOS, then it wouldn't make sense to you anyway. Honestly, I have SHAOS. Shouldn't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. I don't apologize for my clutter nor do I excuse it. Mostly I just ignore it. Sometimes I try to make a joke out of it. But I have people over anyway.
This has always been considered a temporary home for me (in spite of having been in this basement for three and a half years). So, why take much pride in it. I didn't actually realize that's what I was doing, but it was essentially my mind set. (I'm going to note here, do NOT turn me in to Dr. Phil. There are extenuating circumstances to my living in my parents basement for this long and being this old; plus, it seems to be working out okay. They're not upset about me being here and I'm actually getting "I can stay as long as I need(emphasis on need) to stay" content. Not the kind of content where I'll just laze around and never do anything with myself.)
So, my wonderful friend Kelly turned me on to Flylady and I signed up right away. Mostly out of curiosity just to see what she had to say that could help me. Honestly, much of what she has to say doesn't even apply to me. Her major demographic is stay-at-home moms. Not only am I not staying at home, I don't even have a husband much less kids. But, her principles are still good.
Let me recommend her to you. If you have any kind of problem with clutter, your cleaning system isn't working for you or you don't have a cleaning system, or you're just so darned overwhelmed with your life that you can hardly see straight (I've been there. I get it.) Give her a try. Her other big focus is on Baby Steps. Do what you can along with her as much as you can. Take your time to get used to her routines and "programs." Give her some time to work with you. Well, actually, give yourself some time to work with her.
You may not believe me but even a month ago the idea of scrubbing down my mom's kitchen would have NEVER occurred to me; and, if it had, I would have thrown a screaming temper tantrum fit. Well, okay, not really, but the jealous, selfish, mean litle girl inside of me would have. So, I just felt compelled to write about the amazingness that is Flylady.
Another note here, if you sign up for her Yahoo group and get her e-mails, I would suggest the digest unless you can and/or do check your e-mail constantly from home. Otherwise you'll get 10-25 e-mails in your box on the first day.
I'm just sitting here still amazed that I did all that work on my mom's kitchen just because flylady told me to. Okay, I know, not just because fly lady told me to. Also, because God has been doing an amazing work in my heart and mind and attitude about being here and basically making the best of it while I am here. THAT has been amazing. Maybe I'll post more about that later. Feel free to leave me a comment and ask. It'll remind me to post about that. So, go see Flylady and join up!! 16 February This should countSo, we have been under a winter storm advisory for 10 hours or so. We got some snow through the night, but this morning is when it really hit. Well, not even snow. We had a couple of inches on the ground when I got up, but it wasn't doing anything. So, I figured it would be fine to head into work, since it wasn't doing anything. By the time I got out of the shower and dressed it had started raining. Not quite freezing rain yet, in that it froze in the air, but it froze as soon as it hit almost anything on the ground. (Then again, is that the definition of freezing rain? as opposed to sleet? I don't care) Anyway, it had covered my car with ice so I started the car and let it run. Then I came in and made my coffee etc. I went back out to scrape all the snow and ice off my car which came off VERY easily and then realized it was sleeting/freezing rain whatever.
That was when I got nervous. Honestly, not about GOING to work, BUT about coming back this afternoon. I just didn't know what it was going to do and what the roads were going to be like. I was fairly certain my boss wasn't going to come in because we talked about it and she took work home last night to do today in case we did get snowed in. So, I called her and we agreed that we would just close the office for today. So, Yeah, SNOW DAY!!!
Okay, I just realized that I'm sorta rambling and not getting to the actual POINT for this post. Yes, there is a point.
 So, I took some notes about the varying kinds of snow and other things today, that I may write up someday and post somewhere . . . Again with the rambling! Grrr, okay, SO I watched the snow and read for awhile and then my mom got home from a meeting at work and we read for awhile longer. Then the precipitation sorta stopped. We were both trying to decide whether or not to try snowblowing or leave it alone. Well, I decided to go out and snowblow.
So, I started snowblowing, but the rain had made the snow VERY heavy and, obviously, VERY wet. So, at one point I got too much snow up into the blower thing and killed the engine. then it refused to start up again. I let it sit for a bit and it still refused. I went in the house and ate lunch and read for awhile longer. Then we, mom and I, decided to snowblow again. I got ready to go out and told her "If you hear it crank up, come on out (to shovel). If it doesn't work, I'll be back inside in a minute." It started right up and I snowblowed while she shoveled the edges etc.
Now, here comes the real point to this. I have a long driveway. 3 cars long 2 wide. Could, basically, fit 6 cars in the driveway if we wanted to. That doesn't include the sidewalks or the ramp part of the driveway. I had to snowblow in 2-4 inch increments because it was so heavy and wet the blower would get jammed up. So, I think this TOTALLY counts as a workout. That long of a driveway in 4 inch increments, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I think that totally counts. I was so "gross" when I got done that I had to take another shower.
I am using the "Health and Wellness" category on this post. My idea is to start posting when I do bother/manage to workout and see what you guys think. Be encouraging, tell me I'm making stuff up or that a "workout" doesn't really count; because really does it count to do 10 pushups if you have 3 cupcakes after supper? I don't eat 3 and I don't do pushups, but it's an example. So, I totally think this snowblowing the driveway should count as a workout. Any arguments? |
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