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October 27 ok, seriously nowSeriously?? This guy, who started at 1230 pounds, has lost 550 pounds, and STILL had to be taken on the back of a flatbed truck???
HE got married?!?
I can't get a date ... but HE got married!!
I may just give up entirely.
 sigh.  January 22 thought I'd hear ... or readSitting at mom and dad's on Sunday, watching Amazing Race and the Packers/Giants game. And randomly, out of absolutely nowhere, my mom says to me
So, Did you hear about that giraffe that hung itself??
WHAT?!? Things are so bad in zoos that the giraffes are actually hanging themselves???
clearly not, but my mom didn't initially say that. she was talking about this, but it was highly amusing to picture a giraffe being so forlorn and depressed that it would actually hang itself ... reminded me of Eeyore. But then that assumes it is self-aware, which I don't assume. Mental picture is still kind of amusing.
Then I actually read the article and it says this:
He had been checked on at 4:30 a.m. and was fine, but at some point reached over his enclosure in the main exhibit space, stretched around a 90-degree angle and across a 6 1/2-foot span, and became caught in the rope.
ummmmmm, what?? 90 degree angle AND 6.5 foot span??? Maybe the giraffe actually was suicidal ...
And it says this: Keepers said they think the animal, which was 17 feet tall, may have used his tongue to grab the rope
yeah ... there ya have it folks ... what you have, I have no idea, but there it is. Makes me feel bad about being amused by the mental image and all .... January 20 thought I'd admit publiclyYou know you're sick and slightly depressed when you spend half of Saturday getting ready for a gathering to which no one shows up (which, surprisingly wasn't actually depressing nor unexpected since it is 0 degrees in Wisconsin) and the other half watching hours of Gilmore Girls Season 3 while drinking hot coffee and then hot tea to keep from hacking your brains out
only to be followed on Sunday by:
watching hours of Gimore Girls Season 3 while drinking hot coffee and debating the merits of showering since the only person you'll even see today is ... your mother, who loves you even if you smell stale. Oh, and skipping church in order to watch Gilmore Girls. Yep, that'd be a sign too.
Then knowing you're on the last disc of season 3 and thus feeling compelled to get on ebay and buy season 4. A replacement reward for the LOST Season 2 I couldn't seem to get. Gilmore is a MUCH better. Then finding a great deal, you go ahead and buy not only Season 4, but Season 5. My collection is almost complete!!!
Ok, my couch is calling ... as is the ba ba ba music on the menu screen of the dvd. And then, the minute you click "publish entry" to publish this sad state of affairs, you get a notification that the thing you just relisted on ebay SOLD!! And then as you're typing that you get another notification that they've already PAID!!!!! And suddenly a shower doesn't seem so daunting. And the $16 you might have had to pay out of your checking ot make up the difference for buying the two seasons of gilmore girls is more like ... $8ish. hmmmmmm
January 19 NBC 15 Desktop AlertIt's Saturday morning. I'm sitting at my computer eating my homemade oatmeal breakfast and THOROUGHLY enjoying my Chocolate Nirvana coffee. (My first sip was so good ... it actually made my eyes roll back in my head!! I could say more, I won't, I don't want to gross anyone out. Draw your own somewhat obvious conclusions.) I have NBC 15 Desktop Alert downloaded on my computers here and at work. It takes up less overall memory than the weather channel on AND it gives me local weather warnings. Tornado Warnings, Thunderstorm warnings etc. It snowed a little bit on Thursday, couple of inches at most, and dropped to 20ish degrees with -10 windchills yesterday and the whole weekend. (Have I mentioned how much hibernating is appealing in WI in winter???) It gave me warnings of the below freezing windchills and even the snow since it becomes a "Winter Weather Advisory." As if we're not actually aware that it is going to snow or that it is snowing, and therefore life is slightly more treacherous?!
My desktop temp tells me that right now it is -4 outside. Ummmm, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not going anywhere today if I can at all help it. I'm sitting here, catching up on a friend's blog that I haven't read in FOREVER and my computer dings at me. Indicating that a severe weather warning has been issued and is about to scroll across the bottom of my screen. And what goes across you ask?? Windchill warning?? NO! Winter Weather Advisory?? NOPE!!
FLOOD WARNING!!!
What the ... ??? FLOOD It is 4 below WITHOUT any wind and you think it's going to flood??? Umm, isn't the fact that it is more than 30 degrees BELOW the freezing mark enough to indicate that rivers etc shouldn't be flowing at all?? Aren't they ... FROZEN?! I'm confused ... and amused. Just totally blew me away that we have a flood warning, and, by the way, this is for Rock county ONLY, and it's 4 degrees.
Who knew?! February 23 I second that!Truthfully, I don't think I ever thought I would stand up to defend someone as ridiculous as Britney Spears. However, I have to agree with Dooce. Cut the girl some slack. You don't have to live her life or live with her decisions. As I've said in my head to a million people about my own situations:
Walk a mile people!
Walk a mile.
So, Two thumbs up for Dooce. My prayers are going out to Britney and her children. December 29 That would suck!!!Found this story on the Odd News. Holy cow.
A 19-year-old woman who disappeared was found stuck in an elevator in a suburban Paris housing project for three days, the French press reported Friday.
The daily Le Figaro described the woman, identified only as Safiatou, as vulnerable because she had "problems of confusion." It said she was found dehydrated but alive on Dec. 22. According to newspaper and television accounts, Safiatou's father had contacted the building concierge Dec. 19 to say his daughter could be stuck in a broken elevator. No alarm went off and the concierge and a repairman found no one when they checked, Le Figaro reported, citing a source close to the investigation. The technician began repair work the following day. On Dec. 22, the repairman returned to complete the job and heard a soft cry, Le Figaro reported. On Wednesday, the girl's father, who had advised police of his daughter's disappearance, filed a complaint for non-assistance to a person in danger — a crime in France — according to Le Figaro. Several elevators in the housing project had recently been renovated but not the one in question, according to the news reports. They said that it was unclear why Safiatou did not cry out for help. December 12 #1 - thought I'd hear ~ #2 - thought I'd discussTwo part installment in the ongoing "Things I never....." series I have here on the site.
#1 - She is SO lucky her boyfriend's grandpa died!
This was said in jest, but the irony and distance implied was very amusing. I asked permission to put this up and it was granted.
#2 - I've become a professional . . . I can get poop out of almost anything.
Discussing this with an acquaintance. I was cleaning something and this acquaintance, let's call her Susie, said, "Look she's a professional at that!" I said yeah, I am, never something I wanted to get very good at, but such is the nature of life. To which she responded "Yep, I know what you mean. I think that is true for most people though. We set out to do something in life and as life happens we realize we've gotten really good at other things we never would have asked for. Like, my son here, he's taught me to figure out how to get poop out of almost everything. Not something I said as a child I wanted to be able to do, but I can!" It was a pretty amusing conversation.
I should note here, I am sure I could have written much more in terms of volume as well as much better in terms of quality and amusing-ness. However, I've picked up a sinus infection/cold and my brain is functioning on minimal levels right now. Say a prayer I get healthy quick as I have a major thing to do all weekend with my church. Now it's back to the grindstone. November 02 Woman unexpectedly has baby boyThings I never thought I'd "get used to" But, I've heard about a few, minimum 3 I can recall off the top of my head. Sadly, it's not nearly so rare as one would like to think. Woman unexpectedly has baby boy - Pregnancy - MSNBC.com November 01 News - Bob Barker Retiring After 50 Years on TV Things I never realized. I always read the Beloit List. The list of things that the current graduating class does or does not know, realize, remember, never have etc. At least, that's the one I always see. Well, there will be a new one in a few years. There will be a whole generation who has never seen Bob Barker on Television doing the Price is Right. Yep, that's right, he's retiring next year, in June. Hmmmm, maybe I should book my tickets to California next spring to get out there and see him before he leaves. Anyway, He started in 1973 I think it said and I realized, very suddenly, I don't know anyone else that ever did that show! My ONLY memories of Price is Right are of Bob!!! Such a sad day. Hey, anyone wanna go out with me to see him next spring?! October 04 Charges dropped in alleged necrophilia tryNever thought this would happen. I heard about this when it did happen. Honestly, this doesn't surprise me. Necrophilia is such a rare thing that until it happens there may not be a reason to put a law on the books. Also, they didn't even manage to get that far. They never even got to the casket, so you can't very well charge them with having sex with a corpse, if they never got to the corpse. I do hope they get some serious punishment and definitely some help. Makes me want to write a congressperson. I'm posting because a few of my loyal readers are from Wisconsin and probably heard about this in the first place. This is one of many "news" items that pop up and then drop off the radar, never to be heard about again. So, now you know what's happened. Charges dropped in alleged necrophilia try - Criminal Peculiarity - MSNBC.com August 10 Headline . . .Here is a headline I never thought I'd see.
Penguins, octopus and fish in highway crash
So, who was driving?
And why exactly are exotic zoo animals driving a truck???
 Just made me laugh. Thought you might enjoy it too.
If you want to read the story click here. June 24 Kids DVD's???So, I'm hanging out at Kelly's and having a fabulous time. She has an LTD catalog that I was looking through and I found this. (click here) It may not seem like much at first glance, but then you should note the name of the DVD in the front lower right corner. Beepers, Tweeters & Peckers. Ummmm, okay, apparently I'm really dirty minded because this totally made me laugh out loud!!
Enjoying the day, hope you're enjoying yours!! April 07 thought I'd hearI have this new job at Curves and after Wednesday night I think it will be ripe for postings in this "Things I Never . . . . . " category. One lady was chatting and I'm trying to get to know them and ask them about their families etc so I can remember them and hopefully make coming to Curves a pleasant and enjoyable experience.
Well, I must have asked someone if they had kids and somehow one woman ended up replying with
"All my kids have whiskers."
Ok, sad to say it took me a minute to get it and then I laughed along with a couple of other ladies. Then one was saying something about discipline or kids/husbands/pets being bad and the same woman said:
"I've never met a mammal that a rolled up newspaper won't set right."
That one really cracked me up. Thought you might enjoy them! Have a GREAT weekend. I've got a busy one planned, including a 515 AM meeting time tomorrow (sat) morning, so I'm not likely to be conscious enough nor have enough energy to actualy post anything interesting. See you next week!! March 05 thought I'd hear myself sayI was at a friend's this week and was telling them how my new budget is going REALLY well and I'm very proud and it's been great etc. Then I said "Well, it's not that hard to do well when you were spending $150 a month in fast food before." We talked about the details of that for a minute or two when I mentioned "Oh, and that was while I was still working for the Athletic Club." Which didn't strike me funny or anything because it was the state of my own life and it hadn't occurred to me. To which, my friend's husband said "Wait, you were spending $150 in fast food and you were WORKING at the Athletic Club?! Talk about Things I never thought I'd hear a grown adult say!" He thought it was very amusing and I realized how amusing it really was. So, here's to you, James!! Thanks for pointing out the funny irony in my own life!! February 17 thought I'd see "in print" I know I already put one up today . . . but I ran across this and can't pass it by without noting it somehow in history.
I have had a long standing addiction to the internet. No, not that nasty way, get your mind out of the gutter. but, if given the chance I'm on the internet for anything and everything as often as possible. Very bizarre, I'm not trying to explain it or understand it.
But, because of that "addiction" I have finally started listing some of my PartyLite stuff on eBay. I have finally started doing that because eBay started this new portion of their site called "Want It Now." If you're looking for something specific, like a particular PartyLite piece that would complete your collection, then you can go onto Want It Now and post what you're looking for. I go onto Want It Now every day to make sure I don't miss anything. I have 13 items listed on eBay right now, you should go look. ;) Click here if you want to see what I'm selling right now. Anyway, so, I always search want it now looking for anything with the word partylite in it. I've had a fair amount of success. But, I decided this afternoon to browse and see what there is in the home decor, candles section of want it now. So, I looked through for some Mary Kay stuff I have from a friend and I looked around for other things and then I ran across this exact listing
electric thaw jar for semen
ummmmmmm, okay, VERY concerned for this person. What in the world IS this thing and WHO in their right mind would actually REQUEST one on eBay. Okay, piqued my curiosity, I couldn't resist. So, I clicked on it to see what they said about what they were looking for. This is what it said:
Looking for an electric thaw jar for semen for use in artificial insemination of cattle/goats
Okay, well now I'm a little less concerned for the poor guy this was going to get used on . . . .at least that was the only thing I could think of to use it for. But, then again, wait a second, where am I browsing that I came across this . . . oh, that's right, I'm under Home & Garden, Home Decor (Decor people!!!), Candle Holders, Candle Accessories, Other Accessories. Okay, now I have no idea WHAT you do with this item, frankly I don't care. I am sure there is nothing gross . . . well, maybe gross, but nothing dirty or rude or nasty about this item. That does NOT disturb me in the least. What disturbs me is this:
HOW DID THIS GET LISTED UNDER CANDLE ACCESSORIES!!!
It says electric in the name, so clearly, it's not run by candle light or a lit wick. Very disturbing. That's all. Rant is done for now.
Thought I'd hear a grown man saySo, I was walking into my building after lunch today and I saw this guy in a small delivery van sitting at the entrance/walkway into my building talking with a guy standing outside the van. As i walk by I hear the guy sitting inside the van say, at least 3 times
"I don't want to be on the menu.
I don't want to be on the menu.
I DON'T want to be on the menu."
Ummm, okay, well, menu for what?? Granted you're in a truck with a beer logo on the side, but even if you're talking about your product(s) then YOU aren't the one on the menu. Is there a menu for finding a man that I am unaware of? 'Cause if anyone knows anything about a menu like that you TOTALLY need to clue me in! Anyway, enjoy pondering what exactly this guy meant. Oh, and leave me comments to tell me what YOU think he meant, 'cause I am totally baffled!
  February 06 thought I'd seeSo, I go home for lunch almost every day. I was on my way back to work today after having thoroughly enjoyed Culver's chicken strips for lunch and I was stopped at a light near my house. The light is on a pretty busy intersection and I hit it just as the lights were changing.
I looked around, as I always do, and notice these two guys sitting oddly in a white pickup. I look a little closer and see this odd white something near them that didn't jive with the type of truck they were in or the clothes they were wearing. As I'm looking their light turns and they start driving through the intersection in front of me when I realize what I'm seeing.
These men had lawn-ornament-neon-rope animals in their laps.
The passenger had a flamingo and I think the driver had a bear. Why exactly the driver had a neon-rope-lawn-ornament in his lap, I'll never know, but I immediately thought of you dear readers and have only now gotten the time to put up a post. I have another VERY Amusing and interesting story to share later tonight, hopefully, so tune in again soon!! February 01 Thought I'd hear"No, I'm not doing anything this Thursday.
But, next Thursday I'm going to be radioactive."
(Thanks!! You know who you are.) January 26 Now THAT's a REAL man . . .So, I'm here at work, listening to Launchcast radio, as usual, and notice this album cover come up
 THAT is a REAL man!!
PINK, HOT PINK, SATIN!!!
On a HOT pink background!!
I am seriously impressed.
Hopefully you are too.
Note: please do not copy this image, go here to see it on the launchcast website. If you copy it from here it disappears and no one else can see it. Thanks! December 27 Thought I'd hear from a grown woman"That's it, I give up, I'm going to go be Amish!"
But, why honey?
"Because then I would be valued just for being a wife and homemaker!"
This calls for a new chapter in the book of "Things I never..." Hopefully you can add your own Things I never about your own life.
Personally, I never thought i'd say "living here in my parents basement isn't so bad" This was in light of the potential ability to give hundreds of dollars a month away to poor African children for them to have a better life. If I didn't pay rent or utilities or any of the things that usually come along with having one's own apartment, then I could give away MUCH money to poor sad children all over the world. Oh, well probably won't last, but on good days that what I thought to myself. you? |
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